THE THREE MUSKETEERS

I have so much time on my hands these days. My body is still tuned into my old schedule; youth workers meeting on the first Monday of the month, Crossculture on Wednesday nights, help out in youth Sunday school, when is small groups kicking off?, are the kids back from DCLA yet? It has been so hard to unplug from the life I have lived the last 9 years. The one thing I have not unplugged from is connecting with the kids and other friends I have invested so much time into at FBC. I can’t and should not disconnect from that. I guess I am doing ok in this area. Humm, let me think….Lindsay hung out with me today. Just running errands and talking. Sorry Maddie, I know that was our regular outing activity…shopping and doing errands. Then we met up with Diane and had lunch. I saw Erica Hamilton at BJ’s today. That girl just makes me smile when I see her. I love her so much. I had to give her a huge hug and chat for a minute. I wrote Maddie an e-mail the other day and hope to call her on Saturday. I found Parker’s blog, so I am trying to keep up with her. Talked to Candace on Saturday, it made me miss the McDaniel’s more. I see all the Helton’s often. I saw Jason on Sunday, I miss that boy! I am getting to know Alex, Sammie, Hannah and their parents. I see Ashley, Kara, John and Denise at least once a week. I absolutely treasure that time with them. I dropped by the church office this afternoon and saw Shirley. Big hugs and chatting like old times, it was awesome! I saw Cheryl and Brian Wyatt at the Christian bookstore today. HUGE hug for Cheryl and confirmation to her of how much I love her….it was very good. Soaking up the coveted hugs I get from Brian. I just love that boy to death. I called Sandie yesterday and set up a dinner date for next week. It was SO great to just hear her voice and talk for a bit. I need to call Dominique; that is next on my list. Still need to touch base with Kendra, Andrea and Christina. I need to set a date for a “back to school” youth gathering at my house. It needs to happen next week. So, I am making progress. I am trying to put my time to good use. So, if I am making an effort to stay connected with the people I care about, why have I been so sad? Why I am down today?

I have been pondering this question all day, why am I sad? Then it hit me. Unplugging from the youth ministry has unplugged me from the two people I use to talk to the most. The two people I had phone conversations with several times a week. The two people I spent time with 2-3 times a week. The two people I prayed with and grew in my walk with. The two people I now see MAYBE once a week and I hardly ever talk to on the phone….(sigh)… I miss Joseph and Melanie! While I am striving to keep contact with the kids I worked with, reestablish relationships with those I needed to connect with again and build new friendships, I realized there has been something missing out of my daily life that had been a constant for so long. There was a time when I talked to Joseph on the phone multiple times during the week, sometimes multiple times a day (because those that know Joseph know you don’t ever just get ONE call from him). He would call for youth business, but we always had at least a quick personal chat about whatever was going on at the time. I had calls from Melanie to touch base on the agenda for puppet practice or something with Crossculture and then a few minutes of fun chatter about stupid stuff…it was stupid stuff, but it was OUR stupid stuff. How many times a week would I need to drop by the church to do something or pick something up? There was always a few. So often I would catch Melanie popping in for something and we would stand around and chat. So many times Joseph would stroll through the office and we would have small talk and we laughed A LOT! But now, those things that seemed so small and hardly noticed at the time are gone. We were like the three Musketeers! We fought battles together, we worked side by side; we were a team! I am not on that team anymore. Yes, it was my choice, but I can still miss it can’t I?

I am not complaining, I am just still adjusting. I am also not saying we are not friends anymore because that could not be farther from the truth; however, the often daily, or at the very least, every few days, I would have some form of contact with Joseph and Melanie. I never realized how much of my week was in close connection with them. Our ties through the youth ministry kept us in very close contact and now I am not apart of that. I miss the frequent phone calls, the quick chats as we pass in the halls at the church, working together in ministry, praying together, being in Bible study with Melanie; and the list goes on. Such a huge chunk of our relationship was wrapped up in ministry. Our friendships are still intact, but they are different now. Joseph doesn’t call me for advice anymore or to get my input on something. I am not the person he “verbally processes” with now. I am not the one he calls for help. A part of me misses that. I am not the one Melanie calls with ideas, questions or input on youth ministry issues. That is not my role in her life now. A part of me misses that role. Many times I want to call both of them, but I find my self putting the phone down because I don’t really have a REASON to call. I just want to hear their voice, but Joseph is at work, so I should not take up his work time with a personal call. Melanie is at work or getting ready for youth things, so I should not take up her valuable time to chit chat. We are not the Three Musketeers anymore, we are just regular friends. I am not sure I will ever get use to that. I miss you guys!