THE TESTIMONY OF A CHILD

Look at this picture of Jessica! This is a picture of Jessica with Samantha about 2 days after her 2nd open heart surgery in July of 2004. In this picture she has 3 chest tubes in her, she has every wire in the world hooked up to her, she is VERY sore and yet she still manages a smile for the picture. This picture captures the topic of this post perfectly!

After I helped Jessica post her blog on Friday about her experience of reaching out to Izzy before her triple by-pass surgery, the Lord really opened my eyes to see my daughter in a new light. I am looking at my 10 year old daughter and I am TRULY understanding how much this child has been through. Within 10 years this child has been through 3 major open heart surgeries (first one was 9 hours long and in the hospital for 2 weeks, the second was 11 hours long and she was in the hospital for 1 week and the third one was around 9 hours long and in the hospital for a week) and she has also had 7 cardiac catheterizations (like an angioplasty), not mention the COUNTLESS tests they do before and after each surgery and cath! I am 38 years old and the only time I have EVER had to stay in a hospital is when Jessica and Samantha were born, that is it! I know this is going to sound awful, but I feel I have become desensitized to some degree of what this child has been through not only physically, but mentally. It is not that I was not emotional, scared or anxious about her heart condition and all the medical stuff she has undergone, but once it is all over and she is home, life just moved on as usual. I have been pondering that in my head and wondering how it is we were able to just move forward with life after going through these things that are not only very traumatic for Jessica, but for her family as well. Then it hit me, we were able to move on pretty easily because Jessica hardly ever complained about ANYTHING. I am not saying it was easy as pie, we did have our challenges, but for the most part she was so easy going. I can honestly say that Jessica has never used her heart condition as an excuse to not try something. When she was recovering from her surgeries she could have "milked" her state to get extra sympathy or to manipulate people to do things for her, but she never did. She never acted like a victim. She did have questions as to why she was this way, there was a time when she was a bit angry at God for her condition and she would periodically have little "pity parties", but they were SO SHORT LIVED! Instead, she has chosen to be positive and look for the good in the life she has been given. She is one of the most optimistic people I have ever met and this child works hard for everything she wants. She is such a blessing!

My prayer is that the Lord will continue to teach me how to take life as it comes with optimism and joy. Sometimes we are dealt a pretty difficult hand in our lives. How often do we whine and complain about how unfair life is? How often do we act like a victim? I know the Lord has used my daughter's testimony to teach me that even in the "rotten" things we have in our lives; we can turn it to glorify Him. Don't let this world beat you down and rob you of your joy. Let testimonies like Jessica's speak to you and give you encouragement to allow Christ to lift your burdens and look at life in a positive light. To see what your life CAN be not what your life is not. Isaiah 40:31 says "But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Thank you Lord for giving Jessica to Steve and I. We do not understand why our child has a non-genetic heart defect that has the odds of 1 in 10,000 cases. We do not understand why she was allowed to have this condition. On this journey with Jessica you have shown us how BLESSED we are that she has no limitations, she is not on any medications for life, the likelihood of her living a long and normal life is good and that we live in a country where these kinds of conditions can be fixed. How many families in third world countries or even among the poor in our own country have lost their babies because adequate medical services were unavailable to them? Why were we granted this grace? Why will our child live a long and fairly normal life when other children with the same condition or even less serious conditions die at a young age? Why Lord did you allow us this grace? We do not deserve it any more than anyone else, yet You blessed us in this way. We do not understand Your ways. Even when they work in our favor, we still do not appreciate the scope of your grace. The only way we can thank you is to recognize and accept your grace, then turn around and glorify your name. Lord help Steve and I to continue to teach Jessica that the only way she can thank you for the grace you have shown her is to use her testimony to bring ALL glory to you. To use her experiences not as an excuse to be a victim, but as a way to show how truly awesome you are. Thank you for revealing this truth to me through my beautiful daughter who demonstrates her acceptance of your gift of grace when she does not even fully understand that is what she is doing.